Transistions

One of the hardest things to face when you have a large pack of dogs you life your life with is when one becomes sick, old, or otherwise ailing.  These dogs give us their all, consistently, all the time.  They pull us on sleds, lead us out of danger’s way, keep us company, keep us safe, and give our lives direction and meaning.  Our dogs are family members.  Each one is individual and cherished.

Calpurnia, our 16-yr old 3-legged dog, is not doing well.  She has had a long life, lead more teams than I can count, logged thousands of miles in harness, has survived starvation, a broken femur, laryngeal paralysis, and cancer.  She has reached a point in her life where we are not able to fix what is wrong.  You can’t fix old age.  Dying is part of living, and she has indeed lived a long and glorious life.  We have been blessed to be a part of it.

After our return from Alaska, she started winding down.  Almost as if she had crossed the last thing off her “bucket list” that she wanted to accomplish.  We know the heat bothers her, and sometimes with older dogs (as with older people) if one thing starts bothering them, they can spiral downhill quickly.  So we took her to the vet to make sure there wasn’t anything treatable going on.  But we guessed from her gaze that she was seeing trails and teams that we could not see. 

Dogs know things that people don’t, or won’t see.  The pack behaves differently when a member is in transition, getting ready to cross over.  This week the younger dogs started bringing Cali “gifts” of pinecones and sticks, and laying close to her.  Even Ivy the cat has been curling up with Cali on her bed.  Sitting vigil.  Saying their good-byes.

Transitions can take a long time, but really there is no way to tell.  There are cycles of good days and bad days.  End-of-life care for a friend requires patience and comfort.  Calpurnia is very peaceful.  She does not appear to be stressed or in pain.  We have had a series of cool, snowy days which seems to have perked her up a bit.  She watches life around her, but makes little effort to be involved.  More as if she is reminding herself of this life so she has memories to take with her.  She takes comfort in her team members being around her.

We will not rush her – we will allow Calpurnia to choose her own path and her own time as she has her whole life.  We will take each day as they come and enjoy the precious moments we have left with our sweet girl.  And when the time comes, she will follow that trail to her teammates waiting on the other side who will be so happy to see her.  Her spirit will live on in the lessons she has taught us, the memories we have shared together, and the continuation of the journey we started together.

~TCW